What do I win?

I keep my feminine hygiene products in an intricately hand carved South African breadbox.

My flow has slowed to something more bearable, so I am keeping up with things and not surprise! bleeding all over everything. I guess this is manageable, but I hate hate hate it. I feel like I am going through puberty again, and decidedly not in a good way. As if there could be a good way.

It is probably ridiculous, and possibly pathetic that a woman my age is writing at such length about menstruation, but I find it taking over my thoughts in the same way it did when I was barely a teenager, certain that everyone could tell, paranoid about bleeding all over my jeans.

It doesn't help that I'm getting over a cold/flu/monkey Ebola, so that every time I cough or sneeze I can feel a spurt of blood being forced out. Disgusting. I don't want to do this anymore.